Wednesday, 19 December 2012

this high priest is whom I follow


"In the days of his flesh,
Jesus offered up prayers and supplications,
with loud cries and tears
to him who was able to save him from death,
and he was heard because of his reverence.
Although he was a son, 
he learned obedience through what he suffered.
And being made perfect,
he became the source of eternal salvation
to all who obey him,
being designated by God as a high priest."

hebrews 5:7-10

  

Friday, 7 December 2012

to he who moves mountains:

Jesus, I love you 
I mean it, I do
Swift you came
Saved by your grace
I stand on holy ground
every day
May your gospel live true in me
May I honor you
With who I meet, 
How I speak,
The story I tell--
May it be yours,
of redemption 
of an undeserved life of 
freedom.
White flag waved high
surrendered to you.
Jesus, you are amazing
that you can love me.
Please keep me,
guard my heart
my mind.
You are everywhere
yet I am blind
sometimes
by choice.
First and foremost 
your daughter
saved by grace
loved by you.

Wednesday, 5 December 2012

some nights you need to move

Today, after waking up too late to read the Word before Crossfit, I came home and got a call from dad saying that he forgot his wallet, so I drove 2 hours to Indy and back. Meanwhile, I worshiped. I danced and sang in my car like I meant it. 

This song was the most "fun" (hehe, lame but I had to)


And now, before bed, I am dancing ever more fully to the same song in my bedroom.
Wooo!!!!

Jesus loves joy and movement. So do I. We're a good pair.

Tuesday, 4 December 2012

hold & pray

Fear not, for you will not be ashamed;
be not confounded, for you will not be disgraced;

For the mountains may depart
and the hills be removed,
but my steadfast love shall not depart from you,
and my covanant of peace shall not be removed,
says the Lord who has compassion on you.

Isaiah 54:4,10


Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it
with thanksgiving.
Collossians 4:2



   

Sunday, 2 December 2012

Jesus spit on me this morning

I was on jogging through Cherokee Park, being led by the soothing sounds of Horse Feathers playing from my ipod. The morning was grey and particularly warm, the trees were naked, and my legs were sore from my first week of Crossfit. I'm not a runner, but I do enjoy running sometimes. It's usually interspersed with walking or sprinting, and it's almost always a spiritual experience. God's voice is especially discernible within my moments of tension and fighting against something (like my own body).

So there I was, running, thinking about this time in my life. I am an inbetweener. I feel incomplete and a bit lonely and pretty confused about my path. I don't always feel this way, but when I'm not intentionally fighting against those feelings, they sometimes rise up and spook up on me. I felt the need for healing. Something is wrong and afraid. Something about these feelings of doubt are not from the Lord. And in my head, to the rhythm of "This Bed" I prayed for a real change. Healing, I guess. Whatever needs to happen to normalize my heart toward my Jesus so that I can find my sustenance for life and love in him again.

It was then that the sky starting spitting at me. A few drops at a time of warm liquid, hitting my face, my bare arms and knees. Ah. It felt good. I haven't run in the rain in a while. Smile to my lips. And thankfulness to Jesus. For everything, complete and incomplete both. An image came to mind of Jesus spitting before touching the deaf, speechless man (and then saying Ephphatha-- "be opened"), and spitting on the blind man's eyes. He took them both away from the crowds, spit, and then laid hands to heal. (Mark 7:33-34, 8:23)



He's taken me away from crowds, spit on me, and is now proclaiming me "healed" and "opened".

Wednesday, 28 November 2012

hallelujah

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the
mighty hand of God
so that at the proper time He may exalt you,
casting all your anxieties on him,
because He cares for you.
Be sober-minded, be watchful.
Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion,
seeking someone to devour. 
Resist him, firm in your faith, 
knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being 
experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.
And after you have suffered a little while, 
the God of all grace, 
who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ,
will Himself
restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.
To Him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen."

1 Peter 5:8-11

 

Tuesday, 27 November 2012

the eleventh hour

I became a Christian when I was really young. I think I was about six years old. This weight-lifting, phonebook-ripping, ice-smashing clan of strong men and women who love Jesus, called "The Power Team", came to my church, wowed me by their big muscles and then told me about the Gospel of Christ. Though I was small, I knew that I wanted Jesus in my heart. It was simple. My parents are believers and we'd always prayed together and talked about Jesus openly. After that, I would raise my hand to accept Jesus in my heart nearly every week at Sunday School, until my parents finally told me that Jesus would stay in my heart forever and that I didn't have to ask him to come back every week. Amen to that!

Truthfully, I've lived a spiritually rich life ever since... a lot of ups and downs and discoveries and disappointments, but Jesus has consistently been near to me throughout all, and I have known that.

I love hearing testimonies of individuals who have been far from religion and faith for most of their lives and then, through some crazy revelation, find that God is real and that Jesus is worth following. It's amazing! I never had that kind of story, but I love to hear them. My story is important too, it's just different.

I used to wonder if there was any sort of special "reward" for loving Jesus longer than everyone else. It sounds absolutely absurd, of course, but I really thought it. I was happy that they became Christians, but secretly I felt like Jesus and I had some deal made where he would bless me more, lift me higher, let me be more of a leader, help me be a super-Christian. And he has blessed me incredibly! But not just me, and certainly not because I was a Christian ages ago. Our Father doesn't work that way.

In Matthew 20, Jesus is talking to his disciples about this very thing. He tells a parable about a house-master hiring workers to work in the fields, promising them a day's wages for it. Hours later, after the sun has gone down and the bulk of tough work has finished already (the eleventh hour of the day), he hires on more laborers and then pays them the same amount of day's wages. Those hired first grumbled at the injustice of this saying, "These last worked only one hour and you have made them equal to us who who have borne the burden of the day and the scorching heat", to which the master replies, 'Friend, I am doing you no wrong. Did you agree with me for your day's wages? Take what belongs to you and go. I choose to give to this last worker as I give to you. Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me? Or do you begrudge my generosity?'.
So the last will be first, and the first last.

It's not unfair. 
He can do whatever he wants.
I have absolutely no entitlement to anything at all. 
In fact, I have more responsibility, more to own up to. 

"So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, 
but only God who gives the growth.
He who plants and he who waters are one, 
and each will receive his wages according to his labor.
For we are all God's fellow workers. 
You are God's field, God's building.

According to the grace of God given to me, 
like a skilled master I laid a foundation, and someone else is building upon it.
Let each one take care how he builds upon it...
Now if anyone builds on the foundation with
gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw--
each one's work will become manifest,
for the Day will disclose it, 
because it will be revealed by fire,
and the fire will test what sort of work each one has done.

If the work that anyone has built on the foundation survives, 
he will receive a reward.
If anyone's work is burned up, he will suffer loss,
though he himself will be saved,
but only as through fire.

1 Corinthians 3:7-15

Dude. 
That's heavy
and beautiful.
A lot to think about.

How do I react to those who are brought into the Kingdom at the eleventh hour? Am I gracious?
And how am I taking care of all that is being built upon the foundation that was laid down decades ago on my heart? Would I be ready to account for it all today, if I had to?